Old-Republic.com – Star Wars KotOR (SWKotOR) Fan Fiction – Star Wars TOR (SWTOR) Fan Fiction

This is harder than I thought.

 

Even the word impossible isn’t even the best word to describe this. This is not quite going well as planned. As of this very moment, I really don’t know what to do for the first time of my life. So much for being called the “Miss Know-It-All” and keeping things running smoothly. My skills in battle and knowledge of warfare are useless and all for naught as I watched. I feel helpless, unable to heal the wounded; I would’ve saved them from the brink of death. I wonder if anyone my age has ever done anything similar to the position I’m in. What would they do? What would my Master do?

 

Malachor V…

 

Fallen Mandalorians and Republic soldiers alike, I can hear them crying out as they are stuck down, I feel every single being torn apart in the Force. It could make a person go deaf. Everyone was dying; those who are still alive will soon follow their fates. I knew I most likely die as well. I am not afraid. Though the thought of it sends shivers down my spine more than harsh coldness of space ever would.

 

My own comrades, I’ve seen them fall, been there to feel it, due in order to protect me or were killed in action. I don’t like soldiers dying under my command. Kaiden Reese, Aiden Galen, Aren Niner, and Jin Tylor… they’re all gone. They were closer to me as family than the Order ever will, we were a team. I tried to save them the best of my healing techniques, but I couldn’t and now they’re dead. And their blood is soaked on my hands, no matter how many times I washed them.

 

I looked behind me. The odds of the Republic winning this final battle are two to three against the Mandalorians. All these men and women, whether they’re part of the Republic or Jedi, all deserve a medal. They all served and performed their duty. I’m afraid medals wouldn’t save them in the end. I would gladly give my life for any one of them, just at least save one life, that’s the way of the Jedi. I squeezed my fists and bit my lip, trying to keep calm. If they saw their general starting to go mad at a time like this, they would most likely follow suit.

 

“Then we will lose everything,” I muttered darkly. “Even the war.”

 

“General?”

 

I looked over my right. Just a young mousy lieutenant with frightened look on her face. Frightened of me, perhaps? Young as in her twenties, though not as young as me. She stood as straight as durasteel and saluted. “Is something the matter, ma’am? Did you say something?”

 

You would find out sooner or later. Bet you can sense the tension. Instead I asked, “What’s the status on our reinforcements?” She got enough to worry about at the moment.

 

“Ma’am,” the lieutenant began, speaking up as best she could, “The reinforcements… apologize that they won’t be able to aid us in time. They request that we try to hold off our position as long as we can until they could arrive. They’re sorry for the inconvenience.” She blinked and cleared her thought. “Is there anything I could do for you, ma’am?”

 

No, this is unbelievable. How could they do this to us? Our own men are dying and we’re just here watching. “That will be all, Lieutenant. Find some way we could help the soldiers on the surface from here. We should hold our position for now.” Reinforcements aren’t going to arriving to give us a hand anytime soon to go against this armada. Now time to make another approach to the plan.

 

You had a hand in this, didn’t you, Master?

 

*~*~*~*

 

“General Andria Trelyve, you’re my trusted apprentice and one of the most talented individuals I’ve ever met. I’m positive that you are capable of this last order I’m about to place on you. But I’m having second thoughts.  I’m concerned whether you’re up for it or not since you’re still a kid.”
 “Master, I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m seventeen years old and a Jedi Knight now. You know well as anyone that I’m willing to do whatever you ask. Just name it and I’ll do it.”
 “Good girl. I allow you full control of the Mass Shadow Generator. You give the order to activate it when the time is right. Only activate it when necessary to tip the battle in our favor. A simple task, but I expect we have use for it. I trust you wouldn’t fail me?”
 “No, Master, I will not fail you. What will you do?”
 

“I’m going to face Mandalore, end it once and for all.”
 “May the Force be with you, Master and be careful.”
  “Don’t worry about me. Just watch after your own back.”
 *~*~*~*
 *~*~*~* You didn’t expect it, you have foreseen it. You were always eager for bloodshed, anything to end the war. But the war just really blinded you from seeing the real world. You could never understand my feelings for you, can’t you? The kind of feelings the Jedi wouldn’t approve of, I wanted to tell you, hope you accept me. I know that’s not possible.

*~*~*~* You didn’t expect it, you have foreseen it. You were always eager for bloodshed, anything to end the war. But the war just really blinded you from seeing the real world. You could never understand my feelings for you, can’t you? The kind of feelings the Jedi wouldn’t approve of, I wanted to tell you, hope you accept me. I know that’s not possible. 

I could see why Revan didn’t think I was ready now. I understand why he entrusted me with this because no one else has the guts to do it themselves. That was a cold, hard trick you played on me, Master.
 “General, what are your orders?”“General, what are your orders?” 

“General, what are your orders?” Bao-Dur… the Zabrak, one of the techs who helped design and build the Mass Shadow Generator, my closest friend. He stood beside me patiently, as calm as I am. I’m not sure if he felt the same way I’m feeling right now, but he’s loyal to me in what ever decision I make. Our men can’t wait any longer. A decision has to be made now.

 

 Here I am on the bridge of my command ship, The Crystal Gaze, figuring out my next plan of action. Revan forced me to do this. A large lump caught in my throat. I tried to swallow it down as I turned to stare at Bao-Dur. No success in trying to talk, I’m beyond speechless. I couldn’t say anything. All I could do is nod. A nod is enough to deliver the message. I quickly glanced back to my view screen, in hopes of getting rid of the sting out of the corner of my eyes and not show my weakness.

 

I have failed. I’m nothing, but a great disservice to the Republic.

 

We are all going to die, aren’t we?

 

*~*~*~*

 

Whatever happened next occurred so quickly I didn’t have a chance to blink.

 

The generator, it crushed both the Republic and the Mandalorian forces in a heartbeat.  It decimated everything in its path, anything that is caught in its destructive wake. All those lives… “No!” I hadn’t realized I was holding my head and begging for the pain to stop. It was more intense, too much agony and it felt like my head was being split apart.

 

“General?” Bao-Dur, I think, calling out for me. “General!” He coughed in the choking flame and smoke. The Crystal Gaze… “General, watch out!”

 

He shoved me out of the way. I couldn’t feel anything physical at all. But I could understand what’s going on now. I screamed his name when the ship was coming down around our ears. The crew must be dead by now or found the escape pods. Bao-Dur pushed me out of the way when the glass shattered on us.

 

“General,” Bao-Dur groaned. “Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered, this headache is really killing me, it’s hard to clear my head. “Bao-Dur, your arm!”  His left arm was trapped underneath wreckage, appears to be too massive for me to remove alone. It looks like he lost feeling to that arm too. Blood was pouring all over the bridge and there wasn’t time left to lose. I held out my hand and reached out in the Force.

What? No, the Force has failed me. I can’t feel it anymore.  I must still be weak for some reason. There’s no time to ask why, Bao-Dur needs medical attention immediately. No choice, but to…

 

“General, what’s wrong?” I can see he’s trying to be the tough guy around me. He’s grimacing in utter pain. I’m glad he’s not going into shock from the loss of blood or screaming his head off, which would have made things harder to concentrate on.

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” I held on to the hilt of my lightsaber, just the thought of doing this to him, disgusts me. “I need you to close your eyes for a minute.”

 

“General –“

 

The emitting glow of my emerald lightsaber lit the room. I had to do it fast so it wouldn’t be too painful, but it should be precise. I forced my lightsaber to slash through the flesh of his arm. “Bao-Dur, forgive me.”
 

Revan… I deserve some answers and I swear I will get them.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 27th, 2008 at 6:22 am and is filed under Exile (Female/Light Side), Knights of the Old Republic, Revan (Male/Dark Side), Star Wars. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.