Ducking Hunting

Note: So material may not be suitable for children 13 or under. You've been warned.

So this guy was duck hunting, right? Bam, he shoots a duck and it starts to fall out of the sky. Well it hits a barn and lands in a farmer's yard. The guy gets up to go get his duck. He climbs over the fence but as he approaches the duck a huge man steps out from inside the barn.

"Just whatya think you're doin'?" the farmer asks.

The hunter points to the duck. "I'm getting my duck."

The farmer looks back at the duck then back at the hunter. "That duck?"

The hunter nods. "Yeah."

The farmer shakes his head. "That ain't your duck. That's my duck."

The hunter was furious. "What?! That's my duck. I just shot him down!!"

"It ain't your duck," replied the farmer again.

"Look, here, I came all the way from the city to duck hunt. Now that there's my duck and I'm getting it."

THe farmer smiles slightly. "From the city, eh? Well maybe in the city they don't teach you about property. It landed in my yard, so it's my duck."

The hunter didn't speak. He was going to get his duck.

"But," added the farmer "I suppose since you came all the way from the city we can handle this... country style."

The hunter is confused. "Country style?"

"Yeah. Each of us will kick each other in the crotch until there's only one man left standing... and that man gets the duck."

The hunter sighs. "All right."

The farmer smiles. "I go first." He swings his leg back and then swings it forward right into the hunter's crotch.

...

After a lot of groaning, a few tears, and half an hour later the hunter finally manages to get to his feet.

"Well," he says through gritted teeth. "I guess it's my turn."

The farmer shakes his head. "You can have the duck."