The New Jedi Order (Page 3 of 32)

ok........hearing the news of a battle breaking out over telos gregin arives in the lurker for his moment to strike......waiting for sign of the exile......."Surly the Miraluka will be with the Exile" he continued to assure himself,"and then i will strike!"

Then he sensed something......on board a ship that looked like it was peices of others put into one........he snesed somthing clean........wel cleaner in the force than the usuall haze he has been witnessing.....and it was a woman....."i should investigate.....maybe this being will attrackt the Exile.....and Visas..." so he activated the Lurkers cloaks and flew into the docking bay on the ship in which the woman was held.......syking himself up for the resistance that lied ahead he waited for the loading ramp to fully open and ignited his lightsabers and the curios ship entered hyperspace

dizzy, gregin awoke to find himself in a corridor with dead troops........then he remembered he was fighting them and a huge explosion took place and he blacked out.......it seemed that the vessel he was on was in pieces and was tottaly wrecked, he picked himself up and decided to leav this horrid vessel......he ran back to wher the hanger bays should be.......but instead he found it broken off and a bulk head separating himself and the vaccume of space........he peered through the small window to see another chunck of the ship flouting he knew it was the hanger in wich his ship was........he only had to find a way to get ther

It's ok....just more diolougue....and less......breaks.......please.

The format is this

*=action without words exmp.     *He jumped into a river of fish*

Diolougue and grammer is just like a book exmp.

"Look," he said "we don't have time for this!"

do that and it will be readable at least.

The space battle was furious now....thousands of cannons were all in a desperate atempt to stay alive while their masters on board used their bodies to their will.

*Yojimbo was watching the space battle from the ice academy on Telos. The small snowflakes whirled around him as the wind made a gust. Then closed his eyes to feel the bitterness of the cold. He was no jedi, but he could feel the importance of were he stand.*

*To black figures walked their way to him as if they had seen a ghost. Both of the ninjas were new...and untrained.*

"Yojimbo-san, The academy is definately here and still in one peice." Said the shorter of the two.

"Well.." Yojimbo paused, lost in the thought of his mind "I want you to download every single data stick from the archives.

"Hooo"

*The two ninja eagerly went off to retreive the information.*

*Now, Yojimbo turned his attention back to the space battle overhead. The flashes of green and red reminded him of Galactic night back in 10-Foward.*

He looked down and whispered to himself "Something so important...." then broke off "One is willing to destroy the planet to erase it and one is willing to risk his life to preserve it."

He heard a rustle of the snow behind him "Jinn....is it done?"

"Yes Yojimbo....all the information is here on this datapad."

"Did you check for viruses young one?"

"Yes, the virus scan picked those up and it is perfectly clean."

"Good..." He turned his head to take one last look at the battle "Spectacular though" he whispered.

"Sir?" Jinn naturally responded.

"Nothing, just.....seems a little pointless."

*Yojimbo then put the datapad in his gee and walked to the edge. The two black
figures of Kasuki and Jinn followed, and they jumped off the plateu...disappearing in the wind...*

A couple of hours later Tulak woke up in a force cage cell (like the one obiwon was is in sw episode 2_ and sion was standing there in front of him.
What are you doing to me" "I helped the republic fight the sith"
Where is my ship and the girl"

"Silence! The force cage next to you, that is where the woman once was. She is a coniving one though. I turn for a few minutes, just to discover she was gone. Your ship, it was gone also. The Jedi has escaped, somehow. I want you to get her for me. In return, you will receive your ship, and complete freedom," declared Sion, "You may be of use."

Meanwhile, Roy Grissom, woke up in his frieghter, The Alliance. He could not think of what he had previously done. It then came to him, when he noticed that he was stripped of his repeating blaster.

"Tulak," he remembered. "Atton, wake up," said Roy while shaking the Jedi back and forth.

"Wha- what happened?" said Atton tiredly.

"Tulak threw us off of his ship, he took the Jedi. That's not all, either."

*Atton reached into his robe, noticing that his green saber was missing.*

"That rat. We must inform the Exile of our experience. T3, fly us to the Jedi Enclave," ordered Atton.

*A few hours later*

"What in the- What's going on?" questioned Atton.

"A fight over Telos? Why? Well, no matter. Atton, get to the eastern cannon. I'll get west. Oh, and T3, avoid anything that moves," said Roy triumphantly.

then all of the sudden everyone heres a voice, like a whisper in thier heads.
voice "SITH, JEDI, REPUBLIC GIVE ME WHAT I HAVE COME HERE FOR, AND RELEASE TULAK SADOW, HE HAS DONE NOTHING TO YOU!"

"Girl, my master would like to meet you, i will not harm you"
"my master sent me to tell you that u don't need to run from the past anymore"
"that he has taken care of ur life debp with the sith lord Darth Kell"