fan fiction scroll18 Things You Don’t Want to Hear or Know on the Ebon Hawk – KOTOR II

 Atton RandExile (Female/Light Side)HK-47

1.) Kreia’s ramblings of the Force, Light Side and Dark Side.

2.) Where is my Dancer’s Suit? I swear I just put it here… Do you have it, Atton? I’m so going to kill… Oh my god! Disciple! Why are you wearing it and dancing around like that!?

3.) HK-47 torturing and interrogating a HK-50. “That is one sick droid.”

4.) The fact that no one likes each other very much like the first game, KOTOR.

5.) The advice of love from HK-47 a.k.a ‘The Love Droid’ (funny and creepy at the same time)

6.) Atton Rand always counting Pazaak cards in his head. He’s always asking you to play with him.

7.) “Apathy is death. Worse than death…”   Blah, blah, blah! Put a cork in it, lady! I’m trying to sleep here!  I cover my head with a pillow to block the noise. Kreia goes on and on. I threw a pillow at her to stuff it down her thoart.

8.) How your muscle tone and bone structures are.

9.) The annoying bickering of Mandalore and Bao-Dur talking about ‘honor’.

10.) Hey, has anyone seen my lightsaber anywhere? Wait, I don’t even want to know where it’s been.

11.) Kreia grinding her teeth at night.

12.) The fact you and Kreia share a Force Bond. Do you like having your life tied to an old lady? If she dies, then you die. At her age, she can die at any moment.

13.) Kreia and the Disciple seemed to be stalking you and watching your every move.

14.) The arguements between Atton & Disciple concerning you.

15.) Does this Jal Shey Armor make my butt look big?

16.) Admiring leads to stalking. And stalking leads to… (If you get what I mean) A special someone admires you. A LITTLE TOO MUCH!

17.) You couldn’t go to sleep at night because of Kreia’s ‘fantasies’ got stuck in your head. Thanks to the Force Bond!

18.) The idea that you turn Atton on everytime you wear your underwear or Dancer’s suit in front of him. (That pervy scoundrel!)

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I know I’m not funny at all. I pretty much suck at comedy. I just want to try it out. This is all going on during the Female Jedi Exile’s point of view on the Ebon Hawk. Everyone is annoying the Exile everyday. Atton Rand is a pervy scoundrel but I like him… err… I mean, the Exile stills likes him. The Disciple and Kreia seem to be stalking her. The Exile takes love advice from a killer droid. Can Bao-Dur and Mandalore talk about something that isn’t Mandalorian War related and be civilized for once like normal people?

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7 Responses to “18 Things You Don’t Want to Hear or Know on the Ebon Hawk – KOTOR II”

  1. Darth Shiin says:

    HILARIOUS!!!!!!
    THE LOVE DROID!!!!!!!
    ATTON TURNED ON!!!!!!!

  2. RevanBodyguard says:

    Thanks! As you can see, it’s really hard trying to be funny!

    Who would take love advice from a droid?
    The Jedi Exile, of course!
    But why?
    She spent her time during the Mandalorian Wars talking to them.
    When happens next now?
    What do you think? She takes a sniper rifle and goes outside to shoot Atton Rand in the knees and says “I love you, Atton!”

  3. RevanBodyguard says:

    Oh, here’s another one:
    Who would take advice on how to get a man from a bounty hunter?
    The Jedi Exile, of course!
    But why?
    She’s trying to get Atton’s attention but nothing is working and she doesn’t want to wear her Dancer’s Suit again. Might turn him back to his pervy ways.
    What happens next now?
    What do you think? She dresses like Mira and waits for Atton to check her out. She gives him a uppercut and puts stun cuffs on him. Locked him in her closet for several days until he opens for suggestion. Then double check his bounty.

  4. RevanBodyguard says:

    When Atton, in his smexy pervy way, says on Nar Shaddaa “Let me handle this one.” when playing with a Twi’lek. Why do the screen goes black? did they do it or played Nar Shaddaa rules? “That was magnificent.”
    *yes, i was jealous*
    Jealously leads to Shame. Shame to leads to doing something really stupid. Stupid leads to drunkness. Drunkness leads to sleeping with… Kreia!

  5. Pheeramae says:

    Haha, I could see the Exile doing that . . . I love how you worded that. You were like, she’d shoot him in the knees and say, “I love you, Atton!” HALARIOUS!

  6. Nihilus says:

    Niiiiice. I’d like to be aboard the EH no matter what went on. Why? Because I’d like to eavesdrop on conversations unwillingly AND willingly. That would be awesome.

  7. thanks guys that means a lot to me!

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