Comments for Old-Republic.com - Star Wars KotOR (SWKotOR) Fan Fiction - Star Wars TOR (SWTOR) Fan Fiction

Comment on Reminiscence by Nihilus

Nihilus — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 05:00:44 +0000

Looking back on this…
I can honestly say that my skills as a writer have grown VASTLY since I wrote this. I dunno why I’m even bothering to comment on this, because nobody’s going to see it. Guess it just feels good to finally admit that I could always improve my writing skills.

Comment on Judgement by Giver of Light

Giver of Light — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 03:14:34 +0000

This is my first fan fiction, I hope you like it!

Comment on Darth Nihilus’s new apprentice part 4 The apprentice’s new sith name by Kurlan_Aank

Kurlan_Aank — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 05:29:05 +0000

Needs the quotations because I can’t tell if they’re speaking or its part of the sentence. Break out your paragraphs too and explain it more. It makes the story seem like its very rushed when you just have one big paragraph. And naked isn’t supposed to be capitalized. And as hot as Visas is you don’t need to say that ‘her robe was loose so she could take it off and hug him naked?’ Who cares? No one unless you plan on making a sex scene which wouldn’t be that good from what I can tell.

Comment on Quest for the Star Forge by Kurlan_Aank

Kurlan_Aank — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 05:23:11 +0000

His names Revan not Raven.

Comment on Homecoming Part 1 by Jman138

Jman138 — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 09:43:18 +0000

Very well done I like it keep going I want to read more.

Comment on Duel on the Ravager 2 by DarthSeptic

DarthSeptic — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 20:38:19 +0000

Ah, thank you for the advice.

Comment on Duel on the Ravager 2 by bendy3d

bendy3d — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 22:59:43 +0000

It isn’t a bad plot, I enjoy the idea; but there is one thing that screams out to me here: it’s not developed. I don’t know if you intend to rewrite it, but the onslaught of simple sentences and the overuse of boring verbs coupled with the lack of paragraph structure makes reading this excerpt unappealing. I’m not certain how old you are, but it may be a decent idea to bring this to your English and ask them to go over how to write more maturely. Keep it up!=D

Comment on Homecoming Part 1 by Nikko Barrek

Nikko Barrek — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 17:32:02 +0000

Interesting. like the first person view you have going on in the story. I hope to beable to read more soon.

Comment on Darth Nihilus’s new apprentice part 4 The apprentice’s new sith name by DarthSeptic

DarthSeptic — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:52:52 +0000

what*

Comment on Darth Nihilus’s new apprentice part 4 The apprentice’s new sith name by DarthSeptic

DarthSeptic — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:52:11 +0000

Fail. Why is General *Grievous doing on the bridge with Nihilus and Revan? Grievous wasn’t around for a few thousand years. Naked does not need to be capitalized and there should be a comma after naked. “At” is a preposition – a sentence should never end is a preposition – it sounds atrocious. “Very special” is not the best choice of words for vivid language. Magnificent is not spelled “Magnifacent”. And when characters speak, you should use quotation marks to box in their lines. And, when describing how characters reply, you sound redundant when you constantly used “said” and “asked.” Once again, you end a sentence poorly with the word “was.” It is completely unnecessary to add in the part about Visas being naked. Hot though she may be, it plays no part in the story. Also, at the end, you state that Grievous and Revan walk on the bridge, when you previously stated they were on the bridge. Also, you spelling of Grievous is inconsistent.

This is all constructive criticism do not take any offense. I am an esteemed writer. I want to help the less fortunate.